Harriet Harman’s attempt to turn demented populist opinion to the government’s best advantage occurred whilst baby Jenklett and I were somewhat incapacitated by a nasty bout of gastric flu.
On Fred Goodwin’s insistence that he will not give up his handsome pension package, which, deserved or otherwise (and despite the mewlings of discontent from those jealous and resentful souls less monied than he) he is nevertheless legally and contractually entitled to, she had this bizarre and ill-informed soundbite to offer, as I am sure you cannot fail to have noticed:
"The prime minister has said that it is not acceptable and therefore it will not be accepted... It might be enforceable in a court of law, this contract, but it is not enforceable in the court of public opinion and that is where the government steps in."
By the time this came to pass I had already suffered an entire hour of a programme called The Big Questions on BBC One. Had I the strength in my legs, I would have already crossed the room to retrieve the remote control and sought blessed relief. But I could not lift a finger. Impotent, I was forced to listen to the pronouncements of what I can only assume to be the same two thirds of the public I try to avoid at all costs. What follows is somewhat paraphrased due to my delicate condition at the time (not the bit about corpses and shoes though) but the general thrust of it is true to the misguided authoritarian tendencies of the sheeple I bore witness to.*
- It is a parent’s duty to teach their children the moral rights and wrongs of sex. Eh? “I tell my children that adultery, sex with corpses and sex with shoes is morally wrong.” Clap clap clap clap clap. “Underage sex is morally wrong because it’s illegal. What’s wrong with teaching our children that?” Thunderous applause. “We all know one night stands are wrong, so why aren’t we giving our children moral compasses to show them that?” Standing ovation.
- It is your duty to put other people’s feelings first before considering plastic surgery. “You can’t just have plastic surgery like that, it’s wrong. You’re making other people feel inadequate and that’s not fair. You should think about what you’re doing to them and what you’re responsible for.” More applause. “It’s disgusting and offensive of you to say that we only want to see beautiful people in the media.” Cheers from the audience.
By the last, inanely posited Big Question, “Do we have a right to privacy?” I considered it my duty to pass out until the credits rolled.
Do these people not think through the logic of their populist opinions? That it is not a parent (or the state's) duty to construct a child's moral, social or intellectual identity entirely on that child's behalf? That someone’s sexual preferences (whether they choose to act on them or not) cannot be “taught” out of them? That simply because something is illegal, not everyone will automatically consider it immoral? That morals are a subjective matter of personal belief, not an undisputed, universal truth?
Can they not see that it is infinitely more sensible for each person to take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings rather than seek to govern the every action of others? Is it so hard to understand that the media is feeding us that which we have already decided we desire and crave? Imagine if we valued ourselves so highly that it did not matter what others looked like, because we had supreme confidence in our own intrinsic worth and beauty. What freedom!
Well, whilst the audience members of The Big Questions will no doubt applaud Harriet’s gutsy determination to do right by them, I’ll once again be feeling those pangs of discomfort at such widespread failure - from minister to citizen - to accept real personal responsibility, as well as refusing to afford others the same courtesy. If Harriet Harman, Deputy Leader, has her way, I'll be wondering if any of our contractual entitlements can really be guaranteed as such – and what other legislation the government will decide it is above.
*There was a handful of sensible speakers in the audience, all of whom were politely ignored by their fellow spectators and Nicky Campbell wherever possible.
