Following on from my last post about tactics used to divide and conquer, here are some practical things you can do to protect your family. This is by no means a comprehensive summary but it accurately reflects what was covered at the conference. This information is to help innocent families who have experienced persecution at the hands of statutory agencies.
Don't make the first approach to authorities/statutory agencies - whether this is to ask for help or make a complaint. Definitely don't struggle alone - but if you need advice or support then go to completely independent organisations or individuals you know you can trust in real life. You can also look online for help. Avoid the urge to make formal complaints (you can't improve a rotten-to-the-core system from the inside) and instead take positive action of your own to remove yourself from a vexatious situation and/or make other people aware of it.
Demonstrate that you have a strong and supportive network surrounding you. Friends, family, community, independent professionals - showing or talking about these links and relationships makes you far less likely to be singled out for unwanted attention.
Remember the superficial. If you are visited at home, then make sure that your house is clean and tidy and that you and your children are dressed and well-presented. No, it is not right. Yes, it is important. As Laura points out in this helpful comment, there are many things that can trigger a red flag and you can't predict all of them. But you can do a lot to help yourself.
Understand what you are really dealing with, regardless of how kind and supportive a professional appears. Do not take any statements at face value and think very carefully before you do what they ask of you. This goes for signing paperwork, handing children over for "temporary" or "voluntary" foster care, admitting any fault whatsoever, giving more information that the bare minimum, and submitting to psychological assessments conducted by their expert of choice.
Be polite, calm and (outwardly) respectful at all times. Only talk about the hurt likely to be caused to your children, rather than to yourself. As difficult as it might be, try to avoid shows of excessive upset, aggression or hostility.
Always tell your children how much you love them and how, if ever they were taken from you, you would never, ever stop looking for them. Encourage them to respect their instincts and always to question the morality of authority. Make sure they learn their personal details as soon as they are old enough and tell them that wherever they are and whatever the circumstances they can always contact you.
Only ever work with a solicitor who is prepared to fight against the local authority where it is correct to do so. Find one who encourages you to speak out in court. If you cannot find a solicitor who is prepared to do this, then represent yourself.
If you are innocent and feel that your family is facing a truly significant threat, consider leaving the country before the case goes to court [update: following on from the comment below I would just like to point out that this is a serious course of action that shoud be well thought through by anyone considering it - obviously - but it's certainly a legitimate one that others families have been grateful for.]
Use the internet to connect with other people, spread the word, pass on resources and share whatever you deem to be appropriate or helpful to your case. Don't forget to educate yourself about the legality of the information you choose to share.
Campaign for reforms - to be covered in my next post.
For further, detailed information visit:
FASO (False Allegations)
Forced Adoption (Ian Josephs' website) - especially his golden rules
